May
10

A face that heals

Like kites without strings, and butterflies without wings, my mother taught me to soar with my dreams. - William H. McMurry III

My Mother

I believe in you” were my mother’s supportive embrace when I needed a cane to push my laming spirit forward. “Your happiness is mine too” were my mother’s fortune wish behind my cloudy decisions.

How can she always be present when sometimes I refused to accept her gift of affection like a madman running away from a healing cloak?

How can she be a healing face when I am beaten down with pride and pain?

Is it because she is a mother?

Through the years, I witness the essence of true love and forgiveness in her words and gestures. If my every thought for Mom can be likened to a flower, I will be walking through a big beautiful garden.

My words mean little to describe her and no words or actions can suffice to show my gratitude for having a mother like her.

Thank you Mom and Happy Mother’s Day!

MOTHER’S QUOTES

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. -Aristotle

Women are aristocrats, and it is always the mother who makes us feel that we belong to the better sort. -John Lancaster Spalding

Take the word “family.” Strike out the “m” for mother and the “y” for youth - and all you have left is “fail.” - Omar Burleson

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. -Washington Irving

Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials. -Meryl Streep

Mothers are like fine collectibles - as the years go by, they increase in value. - Unknown

The sweetest sounds to mortals given
Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven. - William Goldsmith Brown

What are Raphael’s Madonnas but the shadow of a mother’s love, fixed in permanent outline forever? -Thomas Wentworth Higginson

My mom is a never ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. - Graycie Harmon

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. -Marion C. Garretty, quoted in A Little Spoonful of Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul

I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine - she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights. -Adabella Radici

[A] mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. -Emily Dickinson

A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. -Victor Hugo

Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that suppose to mean? In my heart it don’t mean a thing. -Toni Morrison, Beloved, 1987

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.”
- Abraham Lincoln

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. -Washington Irving

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”
- Abraham Lincoln

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.”- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.”- Albert Einstein

By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacation-less class.”- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.”- Arnold Bennett

A mother is she who can take the place of all others but
whose place no one else can take.”- Cardinal Mermillod

A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.”
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers.”
- Edgar Watson Howe

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”- George Washington

The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom.”- Henry Ward Beecher

What the mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin.”
- Henry Ward Beecher

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”- Honore’ de Balzac

Education commences at the mother’s knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character.”- Hosea Ballou

A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, “where mother is.” -Keith L. Brooks

The phrase “working mother” is redundant.”- Jane Sellman

God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”- Jewish proverb

A boy’s best friend is his mother.”- Joseph Stefano

Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world.”- Kate Douglas Wiggin

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”- Lin Yutang

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”- Mark Twain

We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later; and the birth and growth of the spirit, in those who are attentive to their own inner life, are slow and exceedingly painful. Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth.”- Mary Antin

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power.”
- Maya Angelou

Over the years I have learned that motherhood is much like an austere religious order, the joining of which obligates one to relinquish all claims to personal possessions.”
- Nancy Stahl

Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; a mother’s secret hope outlives them all.”- Oliver Wendell Holmes

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”- Oscar Wilde

When I was a child, my mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general. If you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.’ Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.”- Pablo Picasso

A mother’s hardest to forgive. Life is the fruit she longs to hand you, Ripe on a plate. And while you live, Relentlessly she understands you.”- Phyllis McGinley

Men are what their mothers made them.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally ‘being lived.’ They are acting out scripts written by parents, associates, and society.”- Stephen R. Covey

Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn’t want your mother to hear at your trial.”
- Sydney Biddle Barrows

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
- Theodore Hesburgh

A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother’s love.”- Thomas C. Haliburton

Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives.”- Unknown

A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.”
- Victor Hugo

The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.”- W. C. Fields

A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it’s too late to let her know that he sees it.”- W. D. Howells

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”-William Makepeace Thackeray

A mother’s happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories. -Honoré de Balzac

A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother’s love endures through all. -Washington Irving

My mother is a poem
I’ll never be able to write,
though everything I write
is a poem to my mother.
-Sharon Doubiago

With what price we pay for the glory of motherhood. -Isadora Duncan

One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters. -George Herbert

Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. -Erich Fromm

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. -T. DeWitt Talmage

A daughter is a mother’s gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters’ role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships. -Victoria Secunda

Mother’s love grows by giving. -Charles Lamb

The tie which links mother and child is of such pure and immaculate strength as to be never violated. -Washington Irving

I cannot forget my mother. She is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself long enough for me to run across safely. -Renita Weems

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all. -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends - but only one mother in the whole world. -Kate Douglas Wiggin

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody’s joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. -Mark Twain

It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. -From the television show The Golden Girls

Women know
The way to rear up children (to be just)
They know a simple, merry, tender knack
Of tying sashes, fitting baby shoes,
And stringing pretty words that make no sense,
And kissing full sense into empty words.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The desolation and terror of, for the first time, realizing that the mother can lose you, or you her, and your own abysmal loneliness and helplessness without her. -Francis Thompson

My mom is literally a part of me. You can’t say that about many people except relatives, and organ donors. -Carrie Latet

Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother. -Moorish Proverb

A man’s work is from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done. -Author Unknown

One of the very few reasons I had any respect for my mother when I was thirteen was because she would reach into the sink with her bare hands - bare hands - and pick up that lethal gunk and drop it into the garbage. To top that, I saw her reach into the wet garbage bag and fish around in there looking for a lost teaspoon. Bare hands - a kind of mad courage. -Robert Fulghum

No one in the world can take the place of your mother. Right or wrong, from her viewpoint you are always right. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones. -Harry Truman

Life is the fruit she longs to hand you,
Ripe on a plate.
And while you live,
Relentlessly she understands you.
-Phyllis McGinley

The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. -Carrie Latet

May
04

TURNING POINT

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. - King Whitney Jr.

“Go back to Italy. There’s no future for you here in the Philippines”, quipped my brother when he sensed my decision to stay in our country permanently. “Future” is one dream for thousands of Filipinos who wanted to go abroad, seek greener pastures and live well: materially!.

Change

It’s official - I’m staying and am joining the ranks of the ordinary self-employed in our country. Everyone is asking me why in the world I’d risk leaving a stable job - with great people, good economic compensation, better retirement benefits, secured health insurance, etc. - for something with no guarantees or unstable life.

The best answer I came up with: I want to know how the story’s going to end, and I can’t do that without a serious commitment to STOP COMPROMISING.

Inside of us have these competing desires or needs between security and independence, oftentimes, we always end up halfway between them, resulting to frustrations. I have to make a choice and take an overwhelming risk and courage to face an awful or an embarrassing failure.

I believe it is not yet too late to believe in working and living with minimal stress using our creativity, intelligence, and authenticity.

This is another important chapter in my life. My passion is driving me to make a new page, here is where the magic begins. The price of admission is high but I’m sure, miracles will supply me the resources I need for my endeavor.

CHANGE QUOTES

You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world. - Tom Brokaw

It is never too late to become what you might have been. - George Eliot

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. - Andy Warhol

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. - Carol Burnett

Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix. -Christina Baldwin

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance. - Harrison Ford

Things do not change; we change. - Henry David Thoreau

Nothing endures but change. - Heraclitus

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. - Tolstoy

Hard work, sacrifice and focus will never show up in tests. - Lance Armstrong

The most powerful agent of growth and transformation is something much more basic than any technique: a change of heart. - John Welwood

Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat. - Caroline Schoeder

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstacy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed. - I. Krishnamurti

Nothing is easy to the unwilling. - Thomas Fuller

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain. - Maya Angelou

The shape of our lives is defined by our insertion into institutions and systems whose interlocking power generates the “virtual reality” we experience. Such ‘knowledge’ is so thoroughly a part of our world view that it simply would not occur to most people to question it. Yet underneath this reality is another, sub-institutional reality in which very different responses are simply acted out. This is the reality in which everyone, until very recently, lived. - David Schwartz

The greatest revolution in our generation is that of human beings, who by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. - Marilyn Ferguson

Men do change, and change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass. - John Steinbeck

We want the facts to fit the preconceptions. When they don’t, it is easier to ignore the facts than to change the preconceptions. - Jessamyn West

The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created–created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination. - John Schaar

Don’t fear change, embrace it. - Anthony J. D’Angelo

Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow. - Goethe

Only in growth, reform, and change, paradoxically enough, is true security to be found. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

To change one’s life: 1. Start immediately, 2. Do it flamboyantly, 3. No exceptions. - William James

Change in all things is sweet. - Aristotle

If you are still being hurt by an event that happened to you at twelve, it is the thought that is hurting you now. - James Hillman

You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi

Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers. - Unknown

When you blame others, you give up your power to change. - Dr. Robert Anthony

Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. - Robert Frost

A reporter interviewing A.J. Muste, who during the Vietnam War stood in front of the White House night after night with a candle, one rainy night asked,”Mr. Muste, do you really think you are going to change the policies of this country by standing out here alone at night with a candle?” Muste replied, “Oh, I don’t do it to change the country, I do it so the country won’t change me. - Andrea Ayvazian

Jan
28

Life in a chessboard

Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.” - Ralph Charell”

It’s your turn to move Ross.” I overheard my father’s long forgotten words  amidst the bustling traffic of Manila.  Same usual reminder when we were playing chess before his death. Can he still sense my indecisiveness, my predicament on my life now?

                  Chess

I glanced through the newspapers across the side-streets and saw an article about Bobby Fisher’s death which made me remember, today is my father’s death anniversary.  How did it slipped my mind? 

I remember Bobby Fisher as a chess genius who lived in the Philippines for two years and once said

Chess is life”.

Is it?? I believe so for I feel  to be receiving an oracle today among the many tangible signs the “unknown” is sending me. The keyword is “chess!”

My first chess set was a gift from my father at the age of 8 and from then on, it begun to be my solace and pride to test how I think.  It was one good excuse to be with my father even if he “slaughtered” me in each game, uhmmn not all, I think :) .  Chess became my way of showing every male opponent the wonders of a female mind through this intricate game, contradicting Gary Kasparov when he said:

Women, by their nature, are not exceptional chess players: they are not great fighters.”

Each defeat turned out to be a good motivation for me to learn more and be challenged . Each victory turned out for me a chance to be humble and to reflect more than this game could offer me.

This is my reflection: Our life is like a game of chess!

1.       Both life and chess have basic rules or principles .
It is not enough to just learn the rules but HOW and WHY I play those rules. To live my life well, I should not only eat, sleep and have a good job. These are not enough to make my way of living successful. 
 

2.      Both life and chess ask me to THINK before I act.
Losing a queen for precipitous distraction or paying less time to think is one reason to have cold sweats during the game. Same thing with life, if I pay less attention to what I say to an annoying person or to any choice I make everyday without enough thought, I have to pay for its painful outcome.

3.      Both life and chess ask me to ponder on possibilities and outcomes.
In chess, it is useful to think about techniques like: the fork, the pin,or the skewer and guess what are the possibilities or outcome after a move. Same thing with life. It make me see my relationship with the world.  Do I let my head or my heart guide me? Am I prudent or fearless  to be able to reach my goal without giving up?

4. Both life and chess ask me to have a goal in mind.
In chess, it is not collecting my opponents pieces, not safeguarding my pieces or promoting a pawn
but achieving a checkmate!


In life, it is  difficult to keep my important aims clearly in mind. The world seems to plot to take me off course, to make me forget about what I really want to do, and to cloud my attention with too many obstacles or distractions. If I can keep my mind be more concentrated on my goal, I will attain attain it in my lifetime.

I should avoid the temptation of “being busy” with work that seem to be  productive, but is contrary to what I really want to achieve. I’ve learned this lesson on the chessboard repeatedly. I can justify my moves all I want, but I will be cornered and checkmated if I don’t checkmate my opponent first.

5. Both life and chess ask me to be humble..
In chess, I should not make that fatal error of under-estimating my opponent. My years of experience are not enough to count for a victory.
Same thing with life, I should not judge the person in front of me as less better than my self …


I also see my chessboard of life as a game against an Invisible opponent, some-One more powerful over my life whom I can trust my erratic moves and distractions, some-One whom I can be like a little child who constantly holds my two hands giving me Faith and Love.

These are my powerful weapons/techniques to conquer this game of life, so cunningly complex, yet , my movement is centered, flowing and letting go.


Without doubt, it is my turn to move. I am the the chess player not the chess piece. I have  myself as my sole opponent in this chess of life.  I am the sole barrier to my success if I won’t do anything. 
Dad, wherever you are,  thank you for the gift of patience and perseverance you imparted me through this artful and creative game. 

Indeed, chess is a reflection of life creatively intertwined.

CHESS QUOTES

Human affairs are like a chess-game: only those who do not take it seriously can be called good players. Life is like an earthen pot: only when it is shattered, does it manifest its emptiness.” - Seneca

The chess pieces are the block alphabet which shapes thoughts; and these thoughts, although making a visual design on the chess-board, express their beauty abstractly, like a poem… I have come to the personal conclusion that while all artists are not chess players, all chess players are artists.” -Marcel Duchamp

Chess teaches foresight, by having to plan ahead, vigilance…by having to keep watch over the whole chessboard…caution, by having to restrain ourselves from making hasty moves…and finally, we learn from chess the greatest maxim in life, that even when everything seems to be going badly for us we should not lose heart, but always hope for a change for the better, and steadfastly continue searching for the solutions to our problems.” - Benjamin Franklin, “The morals of chess”, 1779

One cannot play chess if one becomes aware of the pieces as living souls and of the fact that the Whites and the Blacks have more in common with each other than with the players. Suddenly one loses all interest in who will be champion.” - Anatol Rapoport

In life, as in Chess, one’s own Pawns block one’s way. A man’s very wealth, ease, leisure, children, books, which should help him to win, more often checkmate him” - Charles Buxton

You sit at the board and suddenly your heart leaps. Your hand trembles to pick up the piece and move it. But what chess teaches you is that you must sit there calmly and think about whether it’s really a good idea and whether there are other, better ideas.” - Stanley Kubrick

Chess holds its master in its own bonds, shackling the mind and brain so that the inner freedom of the very strongest must suffer” -Albert Einstein

Here and there in the ancient literature we encounter legends of wise and mysterious games that were conceived and played by scholars, monks, or the courtiers of cultured princes. These might take the form of chess games in which the pieces and squares had secret meanings in addition to their usual functions.” - Herman Hesse

The chess-board is the world, the pieces are the phenomena of the universe, the rules of the game are what we call the laws of Nature. The player on the other side is hidden from us.” -Thomas Henry Huxley

Life is a kind of Chess, with struggle, competition, good and ill events” -Benjamin Franklin

The winner of the game is the player who makes the next-to-last mistake” -Savielly Tartakover

Life is like a game of Chess, changing with each move” - Chinese proverb

Openings teach you openings. Endgames teach you chess!” - Stephan Gerzadowicz

When the Chess game is over, the Pawn and the King go back to the same box” - Irish saying

A Chess game is a dialogue, a conversation between a player and his opponent. Each move by the opponent may contain threats or be a blunder, but a player cannot defend against threats or take advantage of blunders if he does not first ask himself: What is my opponent planning after each move?” - Bruce A. Moon

A Chess game is divided into three stages: the first, when you hope you have the advantage, the second when you believe you have an advantage, and the third… when you know you’re going to lose!” - Savielly Tartakower

Chess is thirty to forty percent psychology. You don’t have this when you play a computer. I can’t confuse it” -Judith Polgar

Human affairs are like a Chess game: only those who do not take it seriously can be called good players” - Hung Tzu Ch’eng

Chess is the gymnasium of the mind” - Blaise Pascal

Chess teaches you to control the initial excitement you feel when you see something that looks good and it trains you to think objectively when you’re in trouble” -Stanley Kubrick

I feel as if I were a piece in a game of Chess, when my opponent says of it: That piece cannot be moved” - Soren Kierkegaard

When asked, -How is that you pick better moves than your opponents?, I responded: I’m very glad you asked me that, because, as it happens, there is a very simple answer. I think up my own moves, and I make my opponent think up his”
- Alexander Alekhine

The tactician must know what to do whenever something needs doing; the strategist must know what to do when nothing needs doing” - Savielly Tartakover

In Chess, just as in life, today’s bliss may be tomorrow’s poison” - Assaic

Chess is a terrific way for kids to build self image and self esteem” - Saudin Robovic